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There is a Disparity in My Light: Navigating the Split Creative Consciousness

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  There is a Disparity in My Light: Navigating the Split Creative Consciousness Introduction - does metamodernism oscillate? Clarity, I've learned, doesn't guarantee a smooth landing. While the core recalibration manages our internal mechanics, we eventually have to look back out the window and confront the final destination. For many creators navigating major life transitions or complex technical boundaries, this shift introduces an unsettling inner divide. The anatomy of disparity in creative practice is the psychological friction of a split being—standing physically present in a new space while your internal pace is still trying to catch up with the velocity of your transition. When we widen our creative intent, we often slice our universe in half: balancing cold, geometric clarity on one side against the messy, vibrant residue of personal regret on the other. Rather than forcing these halves to blend, we must learn to treat this exact contrast as our personalised map. 1. Ge...

Waiting for inspiration

Waiting for inspiration

The air in a waiting room carries a specific kind of weight, a density that seems to swallow sound. For centuries, artists have tried to capture this heavy, invisible presence. I think of Honoré Daumier, who portrayed the slumped, weary resignation of third-class travellers. He understood that waiting wasn't just sitting; it was an endurance sport.

I see that same heavy air, but my era is electrified. The figure on the left isn't just sitting; they are anchored against a storm of data. Their head is buried in their hands, face half-hidden as if they're trying to crawl inside their own mind to escape the silence. The thick, aggressive slashes of orange and gold overhead resemble a visual scream, capturing that internal chaos where your thoughts race at a hundred miles an hour while your body is stuck in a plastic chair. The green glow on their skin adds a cold, modern tension, making the whole scene feel like a pulse vibrating beneath a still surface.

Philosophically, I believe that these gaps in our lives can be brutal: they strip away the “busyness” we use to hide from ourselves, prompting us to confront the “being-between” in our lives and explore what new meanings we can find in moments of doubt.

To wait without losing your mind, you must stop trying to “kill” time. That’s the trap. It’s about practising a kind of active presence, staying locked into the moment rather than just watching the clock or searching for distractions to numb boredom. When you stop treating the pause as a hurdle to jump over and start seeing it as a raw, unfiltered encounter with yourself, the frustration begins to thin out. You realise that stillness isn’t a void; it’s a necessary, uncomfortable breath you have to take before inspiration can begin.


Sitting, Waiting, and Thinking








John Bennett - AKA JJFBbennett, is an independent artist. You can view and subscribe to my work via Blogger, YouTube, Flicker, Facebook, Instagram and Deviant Art

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