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The Inhabited Pause

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  The Inhabited Pause "Waiting is not merely the passage of time; it is an active, often uncomfortable internal labour." In Waiting Room Portrait, I explore the profound tension of maintaining one’s presence within the "in-between." Drawing inspiration from the quiet, heavy resignation in Honoré Daumier’s waiting rooms, this digital watercolour seeks to transform the modern waiting experience from a static period of boredom into a vivid, spiritual practice. The central figure is an anchor of introspection amidst a whirling, chaotic background of light and colour. By utilising thick, expressive brushstrokes, I’ve constructed a pose—hand to chin, face obscured—that captures the weight of self-reflection. While the figure remains grounded on a dark, solid base, the palette of searing magentas and electric purples suggests an internal landscape that is anything but silent. These "loud" colours represent the heat and tension of a mind that is fully engaged with...
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Celeste Dysfunction

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When finally the dysfunction is realized I can relax
I knew it wasn't me even though I thought it was me
Such relief
It could not have been me
I would not have done that
In childhood and in adulthood that could not have been me
Astonished I gasped at all aspect that identikit me
No matter what your accusations be it was not me

So without hesitation, I sought mutual agreement
A third point
In order to displace self-accusation
To the wave on the horizon
Away from the imposter me
Far away and off-shore and outsourced
Separation

The appearance
The identity
The division of function

I am not to blame for the character you saw of me
Your perceptions
Your analysis
Your transference
I may dominate your emotional recognition
I may feel in the scope of the known
I look at you knowing that you think I am you
But what you are is not me





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