The illusion of being deliberate and in control
In disregard of difficult and painful feelings
This habitual self-harm is difficult to stop
I'm overdosed on power and challenge
I am comforted by the covering of evidence
I am the one that got away
The one that sneaked under your radar
And whilst you do not know me
I am powerful
I shine through my self-inflicted damage
Through the cuts and compulsion
The burning and infliction
The scratching and wrenching
I see myself within those that I kill
They did not see themselves in my ascension
And when the act is completed there is a momentary stillness
A silenced and protected space
A place for me
This, in my sense of achievement
My rebirth is in the possibility of next
