Hole in the Wall: Pool Time



Hole in the Wall: Pool Time
I wanted to fly to another planet, but I first built this swimming pool.
My dreams just started getting away from me, and then I let them go.

In the heat of the day, I plunge into my pool.
My refreshing water.
I own it. I work for it.
When I'm tired of my thoughts I submerge into it.
When I'm confused and in panic, I fall gently into it.
I emerge feeling invigorated and comforted.
Continuation seems so easy once and only after submerging in my cool clear water.

My dreams to transform my life never eventuated.
I knew it once, when  I was promised myself to achieve.
I could aspire.
You never fail when you attempt to chase.

Somewhere I needed to reconcile between the obtainable haves and impossible wants.
Have I succumbed to failed by fabricating my mediocrity prison of pleasure?
Am I floating in falsehood
Am I wallowing in water of hindrance?
I built and tender to this my own 3-meter submersion of comfort.

In my moment before death, will my pool be there in easy memory?
Will it be replaced by morphine?
Will regrets of attainment hound me?.
Will I feel satisfied?
Will I discover what I was born for?

Whilst under water nothing eventuates.
I feel released.
Whilst under water the world passes me by.
I can just watch.
I feel contented.
I am no longer the wonder.
I am just here wanting to feel good.
In happiness for the now and in happiness for the tomorrow.






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Melbourne to Darwin

The Shopping Centre
Not knowing whether to be scared or to be content Make your judgment Halo or devil 
We describe our persona of creepy In our religious manifestations In our children books In our stories  In our movies
Our hell on earth Permitting the dead to guide our fear and vision 


Peter went shopping In our hallowed place of transaction To think and talk about probability To keep the gate open for approved believers To revoke the others who continue to seek knowledge
Our gatekeeper of the significant fell into a moment And became lost in thought  He let his guard down  There on a humble symbol of power  Laid down to rest Control
A situation began to unfold No-one saw who claimed it
Everyone knows Key 6 was extensively employed to establish Terra Australis Incognita To support those of divine grace to access the fruits of this new world To impose those bereaved from grace and imposed to a fate of generational poverty



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Walking past a stranger and muttering 'good morning' or making a hand or facial gesture, whilst limited is also grounding. Each repeated action improves the experience of the activity. The smile gets bigger and ignoring more pronounced.  The gesture shifts from novel to heightened and then to automation. Simple transactions fall into the shadows or normality. The gesture occurs without realization. It is systematized.  Is there a way of not plateauing into reductive repetitive activity and to continually improve the experience? 
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At the age of 60, I thought life would be much easier to understand
In the '80s, I was painting art inspired by Fauvist, Cobra and Art Brut artists
I wanted my art to be raw, powerful and primitive
I was investigating our psychological and physical barriers as they failed to protect
I wanted to paint self entrapment where sickness and resistance hid any possibility of outwardly demonstrating wellness.


Back in ‘81
When
Times were fun
As a fine artist
With ambition in mind
I thought of life


It was so primitive
From the 1860s to 1950s
They were seemingly untreatable
They were feared
There was panic
Colonies within a colony


A prison for the sick
Of appalling living conditions
Enforcing social isolation
GRIM and SHAME


A wish in time
Investing in negative sentiment
Self-sealing
Theory
Evidence
Belief


Invested in negative sentiment
Fabric and Structure


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I have the need to know
Fleeting and impulsive distrust


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I have a problem
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